Without further ado, I give it no stars.
This is entirely, but I feel reasonably, based on a conversation I had with a colleague at work that went something like this:
[As soon as she arrives at work, Anika runs up to my desk waving Eligible in front of me. She is very excited].
‘Have you read this? It’s great! I’ve been reading it on the train and I was laughing the whole time’. [Which is quite a statement as she lives west of Timbuktu and has to commute for hours every day]. ‘IT IS HILARIOUS. Everyone else on the train thought I was mad, but I couldn’t stop laughing out loud. Mr Bennett is a hoot’.
‘This book has really gone downhill….. Get this – Liz Bennett was out jogging and she bumped into Darcy so they went back to her apartment and THEN HAD HATE SEX’. [At this point, my heart actually stopped beating. I am rendered speechless]. ‘It’s probably still worth a read for Mr Bennett; he has the best lines’.
‘I’m so annoyed I spent money on this book! Really disappointing. I’m not diametrically opposed to bringing a book into the modern age, but there is only so much you can throw at a book to make it modern. The only thing missing from this plot was a terrorist attack! This is the worst by far of all the books in The Austen Project’.
Dear Unsuspecting Reader, please heed Anika’s journey of disappointment. I know I shall – she had me at ‘hate sex’.